How can someone betray you so much? Lie to you, disrespect you and cheat on you? I will never understand. 6 months ago I shared a home with 'the one'. The one who I was marrying and spending the rest of my life with. Although the relationship was miserable for the entire time we lived together (15 months) I wouldn't ever have given up. The hold someone can take over you is scary. What was I staying for? I can't answer that question. For six months he lied and cheated (then lied some more when I confronted him.) But I still stayed, continued to pretend everything was ok, continued to plan our dream wedding (stupid.)
I finally broke. Four weeks of not speaking to each other, him disappearing, me sleeping on the sofa crying and making myself sick with worry I finally broke. I lost everything, no, he took everything from me. My house, my belongings, my relationship, the wedding we were planning. All gone. I now start at very rock bottom, starting to rebuild my life bit by bit. Trying to figure out what my next steps are, how I begin a new life on my own and leave the old one behind.
I've had a long time to think about this and to make my decision. If you're miserable at such an early part in your life and relationship, there is no way you can spend the rest of your life committed to someone but also being miserable. My guard is up and I don't intend to let it down. I will never let anyone get close enough to me to hurt me the way he did.
Onwards and upwards.
D x
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